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Late Night Thoughts

He held her. One bit too tight, one second too long. She shut the door with her foot, and tightened her grip. They stood there in silence. She didn’t dare to breathe. She let him hold on to that last piece of familiarity they shared. She hadn’t been there for him for too long, and it has been killing her. She wanted to be nowhere else, but they had an agreement. She stood there, so many memories flooding in. He felt so good in her arms. She wished she could quench his longing, but knew it was impossible. She felt his trembling breath down her neck, and cursed her helplessness against that forceful fist clenching his heart. She pulled away and looked him in the eye, but their gazes didn’t meet. He has been evading her eyes for so long now, it almost stopped hurting; or rather, she got used to the pain. Her hand moved to grasp his, never breaking contact, and held it tight. She started guiding him inside. He followed with heavy, distrustful feet. Every resistance gnawed at her, but se knew she deserved it. She led him into the room. She flicked off the lights. He has always preferred the dark. There is a certain freedom he seeks in being so hidden. She got into bed and waited for him to join her. He stood there, holding her hand, unsure of what would happen next. He looked at her expressionless face. She was as concealed of him in the dark as he was of her. He had no other option but to meet her eyes. Those eyes he had been running from, rather than to, for quite a while now. He saw a look he knew. That same look from the very first time they allowed their souls to speak in silence. “It’s okay” her eyes yelled, and for a moment, he felt young again. How far they have come from that moment. How regrettably far. He felt her reassurance through the slightest squeez she gave to his fingers. He slipped onto the bed next to her, giving her his back. Around his chest, her arms went, and pulled him closer. She wished she could engulf him within her. She wished she could keep him protected. Protect by her and from her. She layed her head on his shoulder, allowing their cheeks to meet. The scene froze as the minutes went by. Not a sound was to be heard. Even the wind stood still in respect to the flowing emotions. She didn’t rush it. She was willing to give him all the time in the world that he might need. She felt his heavy, irregular breathing even out.
Minute long hours might have gone by, before his whisper rose to break the silence,
“I thought you had to leave.”

She breathed him in before her barely audible reply was heard,
“I decided to stay.”

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